For most of my adult life I have been a social drinker who has experienced infrequent occasions of binge drinking. Some of the binge drinking occasions ended quite disastrously as they usually do, however, still it was not enough to cause me to permanently put down a drink. That was until 91 days ago…
Last New Year’s Eve I got blackout drunk, got into a fight with my brother (no punches thrown), and made an ass of myself in front of roughly 100 people.
The next morning I awoke and it became crystal clear to me I could no longer author events like the night before anymore and that alcohol was now part of my past, not my future.
Alcohol has never added anything positive to my life. In fact, the list of negatives that alcohol has helped bring me could fill a book – here is a small sampling:
- Weight gain
- Worse sleep quality
- Aggressive behavior which has led to fights (both verbal and physical)
- High blood pressure
- Reduced performance at work due to hangovers, lack of sleep, dehydration etc.
- Decreased sexual performance
And the list goes on and on. On January 1st, 2015 I had what addicts call a “moment of clarity” in which it became crystal clear to me that the prices I had been paying for being a casual drinker and sometimes binge drinker so drastically outweighed any short term payoffs or satisfaction that I would have to literally be suicidal to continue drinking.
I decided that I was now declaring to not drink any alcohol during 2015. My initial idea was to declare that I would never drink again, however, I quickly realized that such an absolute declaration was unreasonable and did not “set me up to win”. After all, one should never say never right? Who knows where I might be in 3 years and perhaps I will have a toast at my wedding or some other such notable occasion.
However, my intention was, and is, very clear.. Alcohol does not serve me and I don’t need therapy or rehab to figure that out. I don’t need to drink, I don’t want to drink, and most importantly I CHOOSE not to drink!
It’s been 91 days since I declared to not drink alcohol during 2015 and I have been successful in keeping my promise to myself. The best part is that I do not feel any urge to have a drink. There have been a couple of times after stressful days in which the thought of having a drink crossed my mind. However, I quickly drew my awareness to my commitment to myself and my vision for my life – the decision to do something else, such as meditating or doing yoga, then became a very easy one to make.
I feel better, I am energized, I am more well rested each day, and I have no problems waking up in the morning. And more importantly I am more effective in my relationships with friends and family; I can’t recall the last time I got into an argument. I have also noticed that I have vibrated towards people who also don’t drink very much, if at all. I have not made any conscious choices to not hang out with people who drink, or to hang out with people who don’t. Simply through the law of attraction I have found myself surrounding myself with people who are up to similar things, and who are also not into doing other things such as drinking alcohol. I did not consciously think about this until this morning when I sat down to write this piece. Our thoughts truly do become things and they show up as evidence all over our lives.